Invisible Load Coaching (aka “Why Is My Brain a 47-Tab Browser?”)
Welcome to invisible load coaching, where we gently unpack the unpaid, unclocked, unthanked project management roleyou didn’t apply for but somehow got promoted to.
You know… the one where:
- You don’t just go on holiday
- You become the holiday
Step 1: Identify the Invisible Load
If you’ve ever:
- Remembered there’s no milk… while lying in bed at 2:17am
- Bought a birthday gift from the dog
- Mentally tracked when the shampoo, bin bags, and emotional stability will all run out
Congratulations. You are carrying invisible load.
Examples that hit a little too hard:
- You ask, “What do you want for dinner?”
He says: “I don’t mind.”
You now hold:- 6 meal options
- Ingredient inventory
- Cooking time vs hunger rage levels
- The emotional burden of choosing wrong
- You’re sitting on the sofa relaxing. Suddenly your brain whispers:
“There are towels in the washing machine.”
You were relaxed for 11 seconds. A new personal best. - You go on a “quick trip” to the shop and return with:
- Groceries
- A birthday card you’ll need in 3 months
- Batteries
- Snacks no one asked for
- A vague sense of being the glue holding society together
Step 2: Recognize Your Roles
You are not “just tired.” You are:
- Head of Domestic Logistics
- Chief Calendar Officer
- Director of Vibes
- Senior Vice President of “Where Is That Thing?”
- Emotional Support Human (multi-species division)
Case study: The School Email
You receive one email.
You now:
- Add 3 dates to calendar
- Source costume materials
- Sign a form
- Remember another form from 2007
- Spiral briefly
Meanwhile someone else reads it and goes:
“Cool.”
Step 3: The Classic Invisible Load Moments
The Packing Situation
You pack:
- Clothes
- Toiletries
- Chargers
- Snacks
- Backup snacks
- Emergency outfit for every possible weather scenario
They pack:
- A single T-shirt
- Confidence
The “Just Tell Me What To Do” Trap
They say: “Just tell me what needs doing.”
Ah yes. Because what you really needed was:
- To identify tasks
- Prioritize tasks
- Delegate tasks
- Follow up on tasks
Congratulations, you are now also middle management.
The Group Chat Phenomenon
You are somehow:
- The planner
- The reminder
- The one who actually books things
Everyone else:
“Sounds good!! 😊”
Step 4: Coaching (But Keep It Real)
We are not aiming for perfection. We are aiming for:
- Less brain clutter
- Fewer 2am milk realizations
- Not being the only one who knows where the passports are
Tiny shifts that help:
- Instead of: “Tell me what you need help with”
Try: “Pick a whole category and own it”
(Laundry. Meals. Life. Choose your fighter.) - Externalize the brain:
- Shared lists
- Visible calendars
- Whiteboards that scream silently
- Accept that “good enough” is a personality now
If dinner is toast and vibes, dinner is toast and vibes.
Step 5: Reclaim Your Brain Space
Repeat after me:
- Not everything needs optimizing
- Not everything needs remembering
- Not everything is my job
Even if your brain immediately replies:
“…but if I don’t do it, who will?”
We’re working on that part. Slowly. With snacks.
Final Thought
Invisible load isn’t about being “better” at managing everything.
It’s about asking:
“Why am I managing everything in the first place?”
And occasionally choosing chaos:
- Let someone else forget the milk
- Let dinner be weird
- Let the towels sit in the washing machine just long enough to develop personality
You deserve at least 12 consecutive minutes where your brain is not running a background simulation of everyone’s needs.
Start there.
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